I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
