What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
BRING THE BAGELS
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
