Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
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