You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
