It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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