He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
