Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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