there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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