But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
