i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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