The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
