garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
