those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
