We won't sleep together?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
