I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
