not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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