Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
