I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
