I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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