So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
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