1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
