i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
