if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize