Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
