I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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