cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Randomize
