Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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