Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
