I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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