yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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