I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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