PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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