I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
