we're blogging at a bar
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
