You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
