so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
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