She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
the day after is always just damage control
two words: eviction party
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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