Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
