if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize