Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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