Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
