i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
