Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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