This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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