4 words: hood of his car
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
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