ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
