haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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