worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
