ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
My vagina just clenched in fear
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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