New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
It was confusing and full of hummus
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
My dick has a subreddit
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
