"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
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