1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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