Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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