someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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