you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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