people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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