I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
