You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
