VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
