I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
if i died would you start the facebook group?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Randomize