I want to stick my p in your. b.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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