Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
