tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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