so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
