come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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