some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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