I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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