There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
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